Strings Attached

Indian gift giving does not have the meaning we think of today. Instead of being a gift that is then taken back, it originally was a gift that was given with the expectation of reciprocity. While in Western societies we tend to think of gifts being given with no strings attached, many societies recognize that there are always motives behind gifts. Like the story of the Christmas ox where an anthropologist, wishing to pay the tribe members back for their help, purchased the largest, fattest oz he could find for the Christmas feast. The ox was met with ridicule and people exclaiming on how thin it was. The anthropologist later found out that this was to keep him humble. Other societies use gifts as a form of battle, with one person giving so much to the other person that the receiver has no chance of paying the gifts back, therefore elevating the giver's status. This takes place between countries and governments. In Iran, the government wanted to use oil fields that villages were built on, so the government built lovely new towns outside of the oil fields for the villagers. This was a dominating gift. The original villages had their own form of government, but the new towns were controlled by the government. Thus the villagers lost their self-governance. Western societies also have motives behind gifts. They could be given to foster goodwill, a sense of indebtedness and to possibly receive gifts or help in the future.

I have noticed myself comparing gifts before. We gave our roommates a $30 board game for Christmas, they gave us a cheap little ceramic dog figure. I found myself thinking that either we had given too much, or they had given too little, especially because I now very much dislike one of them and regret giving the gift. When friends give me gifts, I often feel bad because I cannot afford to give something on return, or that I simply did not think of it. This does make me feel indebted to them, which is made worse by the fact that we now rarely see each other so I cannot even give the gift of being a reliable and close by friend.